This week felt like a new beginning for me.

I started running, cooking, and waking up earlier. Life felt very different.

I was afraid I was going to feel too tired to keep all this up––that’s my normal excuse for sleeping in, not running, and eating the easiest-fix meals possible––but Monday and Tuesday, I felt great! I loved my new lifestyle!

Today, however, was the third day, and today was when it got hard.

Today I felt tired.

There could be all sorts of reasons for my lethargy. There was no sunshine, I didn’t get to go running, and some little relational stresses drained me emotionally. Or maybe I haven’t been going to bed early enough, haven’t been sleeping deeply enough, or what have you.

The point is, I’m tempted to conclude that this new lifestyle just isn’t sustainable. It didn’t feel sustainable today.

I am confident that my new lifestyle choices are better than the ones I was making before, but just because you know something doesn’t make it easy to put into practice. Some days it’s easy. Some days it feels amazing! But then comes the third day, or the twentieth day, or whatever day it happens to get hard.

That’s when the real test comes: Am I going to let my life be dictated by my tiredness?

Yesterday I spontaneously decided to scrub the kitchen floor on my hands and knees after dinner,

and thoroughly enjoyed doing so. The end result of being able to walk on a clean floor was great, but even the scrubbing itself was quite satisfying.

Today, however, I had absolutely no desire to do impromptu cleaning. But, I did make myself a rather tasty, nutritious dinner (of an eclectic mix of vegetables and tofu) and I did take out the food trash (which can be a pretty gross), and I think that’s pretty good.

I’d just like to say: I’m proud of myself for today.